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Rough anniversary
Jun. 6th, 2008 01:47 amI wonder if telling Facebook that I was attracted to men would get it to stop putting scantily clad women all over everything? I wonder if that would be worth confusing everyone I know?
Today I noticed that I have had a more-or-less steady weblog, in some form or another, for six years now. (I installed my copy of NewsBruiser on dear absent wifl either at the beginning of or just before June 2002.) Some of the exchanges I remember having on this livejournal, with people who still read and comment, happened in 2004! It doesn't feel that long ago, unless I think of it relative to other landmarks -- e.g., that it was before I took any college courses -- at which point it feels much longer.
When I was 16, my dad lost his apartment, and so I started living with my mother full-time, after spending most of my life beforehand moving from one house to the other every two weeks. One of the stranger side-effects of this new inertia was that it was like a metronome had been turned off, and suddenly I had no sense of time; for that first year or two some part of me was convinced that it had just been one long two weeks, and anything more than a couple of days old was all jumbled together in such a way that I might go for several months without realizing my position relative to any of it had changed. (That I was, for unrelated reasons, pretty severely depressed during this period surely didn't help matters.)
This reminded me of that phenomenon, but it isn't still the same thing; eventually I broke out of my depression, and, for that reason or just because my brain taught itself new metrics (I think I pay more attention to the calendar and seasons than I used to), my sense of relative time became stronger again. For several years now, I've not had that trouble; to the extent that I'm temporally disoriented, it's for the much more common and traditional reason that time seems to accrete much more quickly now. This weblog thing is really a reflection of that; at some point I was accustomed to think of it as something I'd really just started, and now, some hurrying later, I notice that I forgot to take that label off.
Like most people, I am made somewhat anxious by the quasi-Buddhist observation that things change and decay, and I can't hold on to them. But for my weblog to have turned at some point into a moderately old and well-established Andy's-life institution is a pretty positive change, I think.
Today I noticed that I have had a more-or-less steady weblog, in some form or another, for six years now. (I installed my copy of NewsBruiser on dear absent wifl either at the beginning of or just before June 2002.) Some of the exchanges I remember having on this livejournal, with people who still read and comment, happened in 2004! It doesn't feel that long ago, unless I think of it relative to other landmarks -- e.g., that it was before I took any college courses -- at which point it feels much longer.
When I was 16, my dad lost his apartment, and so I started living with my mother full-time, after spending most of my life beforehand moving from one house to the other every two weeks. One of the stranger side-effects of this new inertia was that it was like a metronome had been turned off, and suddenly I had no sense of time; for that first year or two some part of me was convinced that it had just been one long two weeks, and anything more than a couple of days old was all jumbled together in such a way that I might go for several months without realizing my position relative to any of it had changed. (That I was, for unrelated reasons, pretty severely depressed during this period surely didn't help matters.)
This reminded me of that phenomenon, but it isn't still the same thing; eventually I broke out of my depression, and, for that reason or just because my brain taught itself new metrics (I think I pay more attention to the calendar and seasons than I used to), my sense of relative time became stronger again. For several years now, I've not had that trouble; to the extent that I'm temporally disoriented, it's for the much more common and traditional reason that time seems to accrete much more quickly now. This weblog thing is really a reflection of that; at some point I was accustomed to think of it as something I'd really just started, and now, some hurrying later, I notice that I forgot to take that label off.
Like most people, I am made somewhat anxious by the quasi-Buddhist observation that things change and decay, and I can't hold on to them. But for my weblog to have turned at some point into a moderately old and well-established Andy's-life institution is a pretty positive change, I think.
